Wow .. that long huh?

Nannie died, Momma's mother - spent last weekend cleaning out her house - or helping - gonna miss her. later.

Smokey Lonesome got run over - buried him along the side - made a box for him and lined it - was hard to close it up - held him for as long as I could - and remain sane.

sometimes it feels like sorrow follows me around - but honestly, i am really a very happy person - big sis says 'of all of us, you refuse to accept defeat' - i guess that is true - i don't like to admit there is a problem until i have it confirmed and even then - i'm gonna keep believing that it will all be ok in the end... one of my fav sayings from one of my fav shows - 'it will all be ok in the end - if it's not ok - it's not the end'. judging amy. loved that show.

think it comes from momma - when we lived on the hill on the outskirts of town - no phone - no car, when daddy wasn't home - and no money - and they would come and turn the lights off - she would led us in a game of hide n seek in the dark in the middle of the country and corn fields - and somehow that made what could have been a bad time into something good and fun..then we would sit on the front porch and watch the moon move across the sky and tell stories - ghost stories and dream stories - dream stories - when i grow up stories - momma, when i grow up, i am gonna build you a big house - one dream that never came true - but she would always say - i just want you to be happy - i'm happy, momma.

i'm happy.

love toe